Caring for your "Inner Feral Animal"

“Tell the truth about your wound, and then you will get a truthful picture of the remedy to apply to it. Don’t pack whatever is easiest or most available into the emptiness. Hold out for the right medicine. You will recognize it because it makes your life stronger rather than weaker.” – Clarissa Pinkola Estes, Ph.D.

Have you ever read Women Who Run with the Wolves? The quote above is from that book. I highly recommend it if you haven’t.

The quote got me thinking about our wounds and how many of us try to protect them. I feel like the injured parts of our psyches are like feral animals. It’s hard to get close to them. It’s hard for them to accept care and nourishment. And if you get too close it just might bite!

Many of us show up in our lives guarded and hypervigilant and for good reasons. We have been hurt one too many times to trust that the hand reaching out is trustworthy, that the listening ear doesn’t have a mouth that runs in the wrong direction once we walk away. So we learn to keep any and everything to ourselves. We sometimes “…pack what is easiest and most available into the emptiness,” and it begins to make us sick.

Unfortunately, some of us only begin to look for help when our desperation has reached a fever pitch. We are that feral animal, panting in the shadows, in bad shape, but too afraid to take what assistance is offered. “Can I trust this person? Do they mean me harm?” Some of us would rather crawl off with our wounds and be alone than risk getting kicked again.

If we “Hold out for the right medicine,” we will find it. It may start with only one person that shows up consistently; that sounds like what they are offering is genuine care and concern. Maybe that person is a therapist. Maybe you join a support group. No matter where you find it, it is imperative that you do. We are social creatures. We are not meant to be lone wolves (or kitties) on this journey.

There may be times that once you begin to accept help, you will be on the fence about this new way of life you are embarking on. You may be high up on the wall, like a stray cat. On one side is the nice new back yard that is well-tended. Life is good here. You have enough food and a warm place to sleep.

On the other side you can see the alley you used to hang out in. It’s a little rough down there. You can just see ol’ Patch, the one-eyed cat you used to run around with. It’s mighty tempting to sink back into “…what is easiest and most available…” You know what is waiting for you if you do: nothing good.

So hold fast. Resist the temptation. You are in the process of BECOMING. The discomfort of change is temporary but worth it. One day you will look around your life and discover you have found the “right medicine,” and that it is making “your life stronger rather than weaker.”